Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Get in the Christmas spirit

I have come up with a new invention or rather a novel way to use existing technology to produce a new result.



Sometimes it is hard to get your wife/ mother, girlfriend, maid or "whatever" to feel the Christmas spirit while doing your laundry.

I have a cure for this! Simply place plastic stencils down the back of your tighty whities and go about your day as usual.




Like this but in reverse.





"How will that put my laundress in a holiday mood?" you ask. Well I'll tell you how. As the day wears on and you blast the back of your skivies with fart spray the stencil will protect part of your undies while allowing other parts to naturally get that patina or "Peanut butter smudge" your shorts normally get.










The result is a festive image painted in the back of your shorts suitable for framing!










If that doesn't get her in the mood, you should have married someone Else's cousin.
This stuff will help with the chapped ass diaper rash inverted image caused by the stencil on your ass.

7 comments:

Cameron said...

Poobomber told me you were funny, but I should have known better, because Poobomber himself is a big ass-clown. Alright, the stencil and the fart spray thing was vaguely funny, my dog was wondering why I was crying laughing on the floor a few minutes ago. No offense but you better keep this shit up, or it'll be Poobomber's ass (is that possible - - butt's butt?)

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I like to call that 'peanut butter smudge' a 'beige daisy'. It's so much classier don't you think?

Dog Breath said...

Cameron,

I'll keep the blog going as long as it stays fun. I'll never be on the level Poo is on. I don't think I could come up with that much stuff if I was unemployed.

Veggie,

Beige Daisy? That is so limiting although the mental image of a daisy with it's brown chunky center and it's splaying petals really describes the blast zone well. It however leaves out the possibility of blood and corn kernal husks. Sometimes it's a Sunflower also if you know what I mean.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Actually Sir, I have no idea what you mean because only the scent of roses and clean alpine air ever blasts from MY bottom.

Dog Breath said...

Well, could you stop by? My office smells terrible.

Poobomber said...

Veggie's farts smell like innertubes. You know, when you blow up an innertube and it smells like sufury rubber? Yeah, she's nasty.

Dog Breath said...

Surfury? You mean like a wet suit?

Maybe you can't spell Sulphur.

Actually, that would be OK. My office would smell like a bicycle shop!